so long sucka!

like i know only.

2009-11-19T20:00:00.001+08:00

dew.

it's important for those survivor who lost in the jungle/forest.

they depend on it(just like water)for survival besides food.

they have to collect before sun evaporate them.

and they have to conserve for the next 24 hours till they collect another round.

they have to drink bit by bit through out the day and make full use of it.

without it,they will die of dehydration.

but when rescue came for them,

they actually forget about the deeds and don't appreciate a single bit that the dew had done for them

the sun,is the enemy of the dew which evaporate them.

the dew,is the love ones for the survivor.

the survivor,is the one who don't appreciate it when rescue came.

i'm just like the dew.

when someone needs me,they find me.

and when another person come to their life,

they totally forget about me and lead a happy life.

they don't know how much effort i put on them

and none of my deeds they actually appreciate.

oh yeah,

i'm sure assuming things isn't wrong.

im sure expecting things isn't wrong either.

so don't blame me if i assume or expect things,

because it's normal for us,

human,

to expect and assume things.

2009-11-18T21:24:00.003+08:00

what would you do when things don't go to your way and it feels like the world is going against you? what would you do when you feel tired of doing something but you just can't stop and you've to carry on with it? what would you do when everyone in the world claims that they understand how you feel but actually they don't really give a flying fuck about you, they don't understand a single shit and they just say ok to everything you say? what would you do when you feel like things are changing , the people around you, the environment and even yourself but you can't do a shit to make things the same? what would you do when you miss something/someone you know you can never get back with but it constantly haunting you. tell me, what would you do?

if only i have the courage to say it to you myself.

2009-11-10T23:56:00.002+08:00

beauty is what i see when i look at you.

in your words,

there is beauty.

and in your actions,

it is there too.

maybe beauty is not what you would like to hear

but it is in every part of you.

2009-11-06T02:40:00.002+08:00

i'm not a saint,

and neither are you.

2009-11-05T23:33:00.001+08:00

she makes me feel like it's raining outside.

and when the storm's gone,

i'm all torn up inside.

i'm always nervous on days like this,

i get to scared to move cause i'm a fcuking boy.

i would wish upon a star.

but that star,

it doesn't shine.

so read my book with a boring ending,

a short story of a lonely guy,

who fell behind

2009-10-31T13:57:00.002+08:00

maybe i know, somewhere deep in my soul

that love never lasts

and we've got to find other ways to make it alone

or keep it straight face

and i've always lived like this.

keeping a comfortable distance and up until now,

i had sworn to myself that's i'm content with loneliness

because none of it was ever worth the risk.

think of me when you're out?

not possible.

when you're out there and i'll beg you from my knees?

it's possible.

2009-10-23T21:18:00.001+08:00

i shouldn't have said hi to you.

i shouldn't have see you.

i shouldn't give you my words.

i shouldn't make myself trust your words.

and now,

i'm left with nothing.

nothing but pain

and misery.

i'm through

2009-10-11T13:22:00.003+08:00

after so long,now it's the right time for me to be bad boy because i can no longer take this attitude of mine anymore.

isn't that cool?

she looks at me,

i fake a smile so she won't see that i want and i'm needing everything that we should be.

i'll be he's handsome/cute, that guy he talks about

and he's got everything that i have to live without.

she talks to me,

i laugh cause it's just so damn funny that i can't even see anyone when she's with me.

she says she's so in love, she's finally got it right,

i wonder if she knows she's all i think about at night.

she walks by me,

can she tell that i can't breathe?

and there she goes, so perfectly,

the kind of flawless i wish i could be.

he'd better hold her tight, give her all his love.

look in those beautiful eyes and know he's lucky one.

:')

2009-10-09T12:02:00.002+08:00

'500 days of summer'

really resemble of my life.

i know my mistake,

but will she ever know her mistake?

2009-10-03T22:11:00.001+08:00

thanks because this sucky feeling come to haunt me again.

2009-09-22T17:34:00.005+08:00

can we talk?

so confused, it's like I'm lost.

what went wrong?

what made you go?

don't pretend you don't know.

this is me,unchangeable.

when did we fall apart?

or did you lie from the start?

when you said it's only you.

i was blind, such a fool.

thinking we were unbreakable.

I've been told what's done is done.

to let it go and carry on.

and deep inside i know it's true.

I'm stuck on time, stuck on you.

we were still untouchable.

wake up!

cause I'm only dreaming.

get out!

get out my head now.

because we're much better all together

but can't let go.

it was you and me against the world.

and you promised me forever more.

was is something that i said?

was it something that i did?

cause i got to know what made me unbeautiful.

i feel like nowadays girls should be judging guys on their personality instead on their image.

2009-09-22T03:59:00.002+08:00

some people make promise as though they gonna hold that promise but eventually they didnt so don't make any promises when you cant hold that promise god dammit

and

dont give people too much hope because the person that they gave to gonna hurt at some point of time and im sure everybody know what it feels like when someone give too much hope and end up break our heart and live us all alone

ive gone through that and i super dont like it and i wish and i hope she realise it because she too dont like when someone she hoping to get back to at the end the guy gonna give some stupid reasons

fuck and dump

2009-09-22T02:25:00.001+08:00

the last time i fall in love' was last two week and now i miss falling in love' again because i didnt went for any event hahah

2009-09-19T23:13:00.002+08:00

i wonder how shes doing right now because all a sudden i think of her and the past that we overcome/shared together keeps coming back non stop

2009-09-18T23:56:00.002+08:00

i can no longer take this anymore i had enough of this crap and bullshit stuffs that keeps happening to me and i think ecstasy can help me get rid of this pain that ive been facing alone all this while

left without any trace

2009-09-18T00:34:00.002+08:00

she makes me feel like it's raining outside.

and when the storm's gone,

i'm all torn up inside.

i'm always nervous on days like this,

i get to scared to move cause i'm a fcuking boy.

i would wish upon a star.

but that star,

it doesn't shine.

so read my book with a boring ending,

a short story of a lonely guy,

who fell behind.

2009-09-15T18:41:00.002+08:00

i'm one worthless piece of shit who keep waiting and wondering and hoping for people to cling on me when i know that she won't even think of clinging on me.

ulcer on your dick dammit!

2009-09-14T23:49:00.006+08:00

i'm sorry for everything i did in the past.
yes i admit i was really really wrong and stone head and king of ego.
i'm sorry to whom it may concern.
because this few days,
i've have an uneasy feeling.
am i ok?
am i sick?
am i retarded?
out of no reason,
i had this uneasy feeling.
i'm sorry if i cheat.
i'm sorry if i toy.
i'm sorry if i sweet talk.
but i guess,
it's time for me to turn a new leaf,
i assume?
if weather change,
why can't we?
i'm really really really sorry x9873246.

2009-09-10T05:42:00.003+08:00

my life getting more pathetic and miserable each day.
the cause of it,
i have no idea what is it,
but then i have the feeling & thought that,
the people that i friends with,the one that i used to close with,
hating me each second.
is it my ego,
or is it truth?
somethings can't explain,
i wish i could have the explanation & solution to the thoughts & feelings i have.
but it seems that no matter how hard i try to overcome it,
i fail.

2009-09-10T00:19:00.003+08:00

hardest part of walking away from you,
is knowing that you will never run after me.
that's the most difficult task im going to do
because eventually i will keeping stalking her from behind.
and i fucking hate myself
and thats why people hate my fucking attitude.
oh great.

everyday routine

2009-09-06T22:07:00.003+08:00

everyday i will go to her blog and hoping she would changed her mind but till now theres no sign of her changing her mind and i feel so stupid hoping for it to occurred when part of me know that it wont happen and that is super suck i tell you readers

it will never end

2009-09-06T17:28:00.003+08:00

i cant wait for tuesday because im going to enjoy the night like nobody elses problem because im sick & tired of people treating me like a piece of shit when i treat them like one king/queen and its not fair for me because other of my friends were treated nicely eventhough they treat their friends like one pathetic asshole and im super upset ok ok bye world.

thanks for using me YET AGAIN

2009-09-06T06:23:00.003+08:00

super pissed!not the first,not the second.so much for staying at home and the truth.nbcb!thank you for lying to me you dumbwitt asshole.i think i deserve this shit again and again because my face got write use me right.i know.keep it up with the hardwork k.

attachment

2009-09-03T01:06:00.002+08:00

1st day,was bored like mad and hell and anything that can desrcibe the boredom but after that was fun.

2nd day,was late and spent 24BUCKS for my cab fair.asshole!

3rd day,late AGAIN and spent 18 BUCKS for my cab fair.asshole!

nbcb!

cursed whoever fault it was!

great thinking/imagination from me and hans.

and we do actually agree that love's like shampoo.

everyone need the right shampoo for their hair.

they can't just use anykind of shampoo available on the mama shop' shelves.

just like,

love.

hah!

i hate myself right now till forever because basically i suck to the max!

i havent got a clue

2009-09-01T19:27:00.002+08:00

now i feel really lonely and i would love someone to ask me for 'play-play' date every thrice a week and the rest of my life if possible and then eventually from the 'play-play' liking will then be converted to the real,deep,intense, love.but then it wont happen because i know that i'm not capable of doing that and i know that i dont have the charisma to do that.i dont know why,but today,all a sudden,this feeling shot right through my body and i feeeeeeeel soooooo weak and sad and hopeless.

it's monday,FINALLY!

2009-08-30T15:01:00.002+08:00

i'm looking forward for tmrw attachment.
but not the rest of attachment.
can we just come tmrw and not to come for the rest of the attachment?
asshole!

whatever it is,
tmrw i'm going to enjoy hell lot!
yes,
HELL LOT!
let's party like a rockstar!
she get it pop it,lock it,drop it,
that birthday cake,
got a candle need to blow that crazy flame away.
now take me red,black card and my jewelery
shawty is cool like the fire,cool like fire.

it's getting worse

2009-08-29T16:05:00.003+08:00

can somebody tell me what it feels like to be happy?i think there's no such word as happy in my life anymore.all i think is the bad things that's going to happen to me and make my life feel so miserable.can i just take my mother's knife and stab right through my heart?i seriously cannot take it.

fcuk lah

2009-08-28T20:06:00.001+08:00

I WILL GO CRAZY WHENEVER I THINK ABOUT IT.

i'm bored like fuck!

2009-08-28T15:15:00.002+08:00

why does it feel like it's raining in my head?

2009-08-28T00:53:00.001+08:00

all this while i've been thinking.am i born in this world to screw up things?am i born in this world to make things worse?i feel like i am.i'm like an obsatcle which block people's way from having a good life ahead them.i'm here to make love,friends,family with them but instead,hatred occurs.if so,i'm sorry and everybody do deserve a second chance.and one more thing,till when you gonna be in that dark hole?aren't you trying to escape from that dark hole?i know it's hard,but determination and chance is the key to success. lacking of mirth,provide me some?

is it a fact or fiction

2009-08-27T01:57:00.002+08:00

i hate myself.

i think i'm here in this world,

is to screw things up and go without solving it.

i suck!

suck all the way to the deepest core.

sorry-ed pity-ed sad-ed

2009-08-26T01:54:00.002+08:00

some fuckers think it fun to play with people's heart.

but have they ever think what it feels like to get cheated?

damn those fuckers who go around,

cheating people's heart.

these fuckers is soooo heartless that i think the name fuckers don't suits them.

their love one's have given their trust to them.

have given much of love to them.

but in then end,

they dumped them.

few COMMON reason(s),

i don't think we are meant for each other/

i'm busy.

yet,

they still use it.

how stupid!

if goverment wants to make new law like,

those who cheats their love one will be imprisoned,

i'll be the first one to agree with that.

and for those who get cheated by their worthless fuckers,

i'm really sorry,sad and pity for you.

it's 2.07am and i'm craving for laksa right na na na

buay tahan

2009-08-22T20:03:00.001+08:00

oh god.

i had enough of suffering.

please show me the light and right path.

please.

you still remember my words siooool

2009-08-21T15:10:00.003+08:00

love.

i'm sure you've heard these words before.

and i know it's hard for you to trust them once more.

you're afraid it all might end

and a broken heart is scared breaking again.

but you gotta believe me,

give me another chance.

i'll never leave you.

you'll never cry long as im there.

and i will always be there.

you will never be without love.

i promise.

as long as sunlight lights the sky,

light of love will be found in these eyes of mine.

and i will shine that light for you.

you're the only one,

i'll ever give this heart to (besides my family,duh~)

there's will be no time you won't find me there.

cause i will always be there.

you will always have all my love.

i promise.

if only i were given another chance.

but in this kind of situation,

i doubt it will happen.

hans said,

"shafiq,you obsessed sioooool!but dont worry,god will be there to help those who believe him and themselves.and you once told me,everybody will be given a second chance."

thanks hans.

i didnt expect that sentence was from me.

and i totally forget about it.

but you still remember.

once again,

thanks sucka! :)

i dont care if you/your friend hate detest mad angry irritated disgusted at me

2009-08-21T00:35:00.006+08:00

have i told you that how good it feels to be me,

when i'm with you?

i can only stay clean when you are around.

don't let me fall.

if i close my eyes forever,

would it ease the pain?

could i breathe again?

i am wasted,

i made a million mistakes.

am i too late?

there is a storm in my head,

when you are not here.

i'm not afraid of dying,

but i'm of losing you.

maybe i'm addicted,

i'm out of control,

but you're the drug,

that keeps me from suffering.

maybe i'm a liar,

but all i know is you're the reason i'm trying.

maybe i'm obsessed,

but you're the one that i fall for.

i know you got the power

to make me weak inside,

and you did

and you leave me breathless.

i don't need another lifeline

because you can save me.

yes,

you may think i'm obsessed.

but i just want to let you know that,

i love you sincerely.

i don't expect anything much from you,

but just show me that you do apreciate it and accept it.

i know i'm rushing things,

but till when will it over?

why i write it here is because

it's too late for me to tell you,

because we no longer how we used to.

and i know,

it won't even move you heart a single inch.

i wish you the best,

and i hope any guy found your love,

knows how great you are.

and now,

i have to move like how i did in the previous one's.

and if i were given a second chance,

i'm sure i'll grab it.

but i doubt so.

just like father father

2009-08-19T02:23:00.000+08:00

you know sometimes,

while we sitting down staring at blank space,

out of a sudden,

we think of our past.

it's lucky if we happen to think the good side.

it's unlucky if we happen to think the bad side.

but the thing is,

it's just a past.

there's nothing we can change about it.

we can't bring that past to the present,

especially the bad side,

adjust it and turn it to be a good one.

we can't.

it's all a matter of ourself,

whether we can take it or not.

if we happen to think the bad side,

we may get frustrated about it,

we may get irritated about it,

and even sometimes,

we may cry and think of killing ourself.

that's when,

we have to learn from that mistake of ours and try not to repeat it again.

if we happen to think the good side,

we may smile all a sudden,

we may laugh all a sudden,

like one retarded person,

and even sometimes,

we cried of happiness.

keep doing it in the present or maybe future,

and i'm sure it,

it will be way way beautiful than before.

one said,

"we don't remember days,we remember moments."

come on give me a break

2009-08-18T00:31:00.003+08:00

fuck your brains you little dumbwitt shit head you such an ass dont you ever talk about her again because you nbcb you moronic asshole its my problem so dont try to give your shitty advice will you because you a girl who doesnt know how to appreciate kindness from me and doesnt believe any words that ive told you before he fucked you and now you asking for my help fuck off i got better things to do spent you time with that bf of yours because i DONT DESERVE TO BE IN YOUR FUCKING LIFE

you treat me nice i treat you even nicer you step my head i make sure i crush your head to bits

i hope its true

2009-08-17T15:02:00.004+08:00

ok fine im the one whos being obsessed and its my fault though but is it wrong for me to assume everybody do assume so dont try to blame me if i assume i seriously have no fucking intention to put the blame on you but you were the one who assuming things that i blamed you i think its stupid if we hate each other just because of this because its just a misunderstanding between us or is it me and please you like discriminate me you know i know im assuming but your blogpost tells you made me write this fucking post and i did tell you that honesty is a good thing but try to balance it im not asking you to apply on me but apply to your own life have you ever wonder why some cirumstance in our life we have to lie to ourself and you know that if we tell honestly we would hurt that someone so im saying that to you because i do care about you and i dont want you to feel how i feel right now or maybe hurt someone else or maybe you have to go through what you been in right now again and again and again im not some holy shit head who thinks that im always right and try to act good and give good comments or whatever shit but think logically please and one more thing i have the guts i have the courage i have the balls to stand up and say sorry but what you do in return did you replied my msg no you didnt i assume by now you gonna hate me and dont give a flying fuck about it whatever it is im sorry

reckless abandon

2009-08-17T02:40:00.000+08:00

if you want to hate me?

so be it.

practically it's my fault.

i'm sorry.

because everything comes with a reason.

2009-08-15T02:10:00.004+08:00

dew.

it's important for those survivor who lost in the jungle/forest.

they depend on it(just like water)for survival besides food.

they have to collect before sun evaporate them.

and they have to conserve for the next 24 hours till they collect another round.

they have to drink bit by bit through out the day and make full use of it.

without it,they will die of dehydration.

but when rescue came for them,

they actually forget about the deeds and don't appreciate a single bit that the dew had done for them

the sun,is the enemy of the dew which evaporate them.

the dew,is the love ones for the survivor.

the survivor,is the one who don't appreciate it when rescue came.

i'm just like the dew.

when someone needs me,they find me.

and when another person come to their life,

they totally forget about me and lead a happy life.

they don't know how much effort i put on them

and none of my deeds they actually appreciate.

oh yeah,

i'm sure assuming things isn't wrong.

im sure expecting things isn't wrong either.

so don't blame me if i assume or expect things,

because it's normal for us,

human,

to expect and assume things.

make it the 4th

2009-08-13T22:39:00.002+08:00

blog,

is the only place i can talk about love

and emotion.

-.-

where do love come from?

i've asked some,

and they answer heart,

but to me,

it's not the heart,

but the feeling.

the feeling that make us love

and

not to love.

and i think,

for loving someone,

is not about knowing,

but it's about feeling.

this feeling determine us

whether each individual do love each other or not.

if i pursue the facts,

connect the dots,

eventually i'll come to the truth.

paranoid sioooool

2009-08-13T18:23:00.002+08:00

sometimes i wonder if i can just bring the time back and change everything that ive done wrong and lead a happy life but i just simply cant knn!but then what ive done that i have to go through this again for dont know how many times no words can tell how i feel right now its totally suck to the core manxxzx and i dont give a flying fuck if people say im too obsessed because the fact is that they dont know what ive been through all this while and there they are giving me comments about this knnbccb and finally i would like to say thanks for giving me this 'great' feeling ok i really appreciate it thanks ok bye

tissue.

2009-08-13T01:55:00.002+08:00

it takes a alot of thoughts to make a word.

it takes more than some words to make an action.
just like action speaks louder than words.
if mean it,make sure mean it.
don't take words for granted as this little words which is nothing for you might be the key to hurt someone and make a small matter be a big matter.

thanks.

2009-08-12T22:55:00.000+08:00

hardest part of walking away from you, is knowing that you will never run after me.

i love you with all my heart.

2009-08-11T22:13:00.002+08:00

hah

now i do understand what love is.

i never regret to have someone like you in my life.

you are my love of my life.

you fill my life with love.

thank you.

you never fail to put a smile on my face when i'm down.

you never fail to love me when i need it the most.

i feel secured when you with me.

the love that you give me,

cannot be compared with anything else.

no money can buy our love.

no one can destroy our love.

thank you.

and one more thing,

i'm sorry if i'm mean to you all this while.

i will always go against every word that you say.

and when i go against it,

i know that you sad

but i just act as if nothing happen.

i'm sorry.

i know my brother gonna tell you about this.

i know my cousin gonna tell you about this.

i don't care.

it really shows that i really love you,

from the bottom of my heart.

i try not disappoint you,

i promise.

i know it's hard to hold promises,

but i do my very best.

last but not least,

i love you,

mum.

i'm done.

2009-08-10T16:55:00.003+08:00

expecting...
expected.
it really do happen.
smile/laugh best cure?
i don't think so.

at times,stone-head can be good.
at times,it can be bad.
but have to say,
it's real good.

don't learn from our mistakes.
most say,"i won't repeat as i learn my mistakes."
bull shit.
told my self that i won't repeat the same mistakes.
but i did.
it's hard to hold words.
and to hold someone's word?
try practicing holding water first.

trust,
faith,
give and take,
that's what we need in life.

too much hope,hurt our very own heart.
too little hope,playing with people's heart.
think before we do something.

and here i am repeating the same mistakes.

i hope its true

2009-08-08T13:22:00.003+08:00

i was told,
"when someone is in your heart, they're never truly gone. They can come back to you, even at unlikely times.".

no comma no fullstop no question mark no exclaimination mark

2009-08-05T19:05:00.003+08:00

i think i just don't deserve love as i don't know what is the meaning of love anymore i feel like taking a knife and just stab myself on my head and die on the spot fuck me why most of my friends especially my secondary school friends in relationship but not me what they have but i dont do i look like a idiot who suck my own dick am i just being obsessed about it or is it the real fact that im facing now im paranoid about it seriously the more i wait the more i look like an idiot whos hoping to have snow in singapore dammit the more i tell myself that im going to forget that particular someone the more my feeling grew for her dammit i just dont know why this thing keep happening to me when my friend have problems in relationship they ask me what should they do and here i am give advices as if im in relationship but the reality is that i dont and i dont know why i can give those advices to them am i retarded am i cursed if not why can i give those kind of advices that really makes sense and its like the total side of me sometimes when i give those advices i feel weird of myself i seriously cannot take this anymore its a burden to me all this while god please show me the path that i always hoped and prayed for

i have to make up my mind,soon.

2009-08-04T19:03:00.003+08:00

wait it out till light,

take a breathe,

say goodnight,

but don't ever go away.

wait around to find the time,

only she can take what's mine,

but don't ever go away.

a chance to change or stay the same,

one night without the blame,

that don't ever go away.

only she can make it right,

to walk away and have no fight,

but don't ever go away.

fade it out into the light,

all these time we never get it right,

no more reason to deny,

that i believed that she were mine,

i think i should let it go right now na na na na.

freaky yet true

2009-08-01T21:25:00.005+08:00

i dont know why

but it seems i see myself together with a girl just now

going out together,enjoying each and every bit we spent together

holding each other's hand,swinging

disgracing ourself when we're outside

disgraced her by digging my nose inside train

cried on my shoulder after sharing her problems

wipe each other grubby mouth

feed each other then pull back as we trying to put the food in our mouth

get to know the total different side of us

hugged each other everytime we meet

kissed each other forehead/cheek everytime we meet

hear her nagging after i did something wrong

celebrating her birthday at kopitiam with her wtf face yet she loves it

celebrating my birthday at proper restaurant in return

saw her wearing necklace which i bought for her when we going out

solve problems in calm manner

taking pictures together with diffrent kind of crazy/loving pose and faces

sing her favourite song

have a surprise dinner on our annivesary

received each other text before we sleep saying,"lets hope for the best in our relationship tmrw.goodnight my love"

i doubt it'll happen now.

but sooner or later.

=')

if only she say she say she say she do

2009-08-01T01:45:00.002+08:00

all of us are hypocrites at one point of our lives and i think i am right now na na na na

be realistic

2009-07-30T20:08:00.002+08:00

people wants to know how i survived.

why i disappeared.

where i've been all this time.

but first,why i tried to kill myself,right?

it's OK.

people do.

they measure themselve againts me.

it's like this line is drawn somewhere in the world and if they never cross it,

they'll never consider throwing themselves off a building or swallowing a bottle of pills

- but if they do,they might.

people figured i crossed my line.

they ask themselves,

"could i ever get as close she did?"

the truth is,

there is no line.

there's only their life,

how they mess it up,

and who is there to save them.

or who isn't.

i'm really pissed.

2009-07-29T23:52:00.002+08:00

http://www.goaskyourmothersuckyourballs.com

wth?

2009-07-29T20:23:00.002+08:00

plxssx leh hor,

iie tink lub like double cheeseburger lor.

kao bei kao bu.

sibei sian lor.

na bei.

i do mean it.

2009-07-28T20:28:00.002+08:00

all my pants are loose.

i think i lost weight.

dammit!

i can no longer take it anymore.

2009-07-27T23:24:00.004+08:00

this is not the first time.

it's the third consecutive time i've been through this.

i know people will think i'm obsessed.

but i don't care.

i'm just saying th fact.

stating the face.

i've waited long enough.
and the patience within me have reached to it's limit.
now i really have to go.
go away from the spot.
go away from the world of fantasy.
have to face the reality.
no more wondering,
no more hoping.
but just go.

but,
but,but,
i still don't have the power,
don't have the courage,
don't have the intention,
just to go like that.

i really wish to lead a happy life,

like others do.

but i think i don't have the luck.

i sound really really pathetic.
am i?
i think i am.

something's got to change,things cannot stay the same your mother lah!

2009-07-26T22:03:00.003+08:00

she left me hanging from a thread we once swung from together.

i've lick my wound but i can't ever see them getting better.

something's got to change,

things cannot stay the same.

her hair was pressed againts her face,her eyes were red with anger.

enraged by things unsaid and empty beds and bad beaviour.

somthing's got to change,

things cannot stay the same.

the room was silent as i tried so hard to remember.

the way it feels to be alive.

the day that i first met her.

something's got to change,

things cannot stay the same.

my friends make me think someone wonderful,but i can't replace her.

i wake up every morning wishing one more time to face her.

something's got to change,

things cannot stay the same.

so much to love,

so much to learn,

but i won't be there to teach her.

i know i can be close,

but i try my best to reach her.

i'm sorry,i did not mean to make a big fuss about it.

but it's beyond me,i cannot carry the weight of the heavy world,

anymore.

run out of words.

2009-07-26T00:01:00.002+08:00

you drain me dry and make me wonder why i'm even here.

this double vision i was seeing is finally clear.

what you are doing is screwing things up inside my head.

you should know better you never listened to a word i said.

clutching your pillow and writhing in a naked sweat.

hoping somebody some,someday will do you like i did.

does it kill?

does it durn?

is it painful to learn?

that it's me that has all the control.

does it thrill?

does it sting?

when you feel what i bring

and you wish that you had me to hold.

when it gets cold outside and you got nobodoy to love.

you'll understand what i mean when i say

there's no way i gonna give up.

and like a little girl cries in the face of a monster that lives in her dream.

is there anyone out there?

cause it's getting harder to breathe.

do i look like i even bother?

2009-07-25T03:40:00.000+08:00

you build me up,

you knock me down.

provoke a smile

and make me frown.

you are the queen of runaround

and you know it's true.

you chew me up

and spit me out.

enjoy the taste

i leave in your mouth.

you look at me,

i look at you.

neither of us know what to do.

immobilized by the thought of you,

paralyzed by the sight of you,

hypnotized by the words you say,

it's not true

but i believe it anyway.

there may not

be another way to your heart.

so i guess i'd better find a new way in.

i shiver when i hear your name.

think about you but it's not the same as how it used to be.

i won't be satisfied till i'm under your skin

but now i feel real sad.

4 lines per paragraph

2009-07-24T20:42:00.003+08:00

beauty queen of only sixteen

she had some trouble with herself.

I was always there to help her

but i think she belonged to someone else.

i drove for miles and miles

and wound up at your door.

i've had her so many times

but somehow i want more.

tap on my heart,

knock on my heart.

i want to make her beautiful

i know i tend to get so insecure

it doesn't matter anymore.

i don't mind spending everyday

out on your corner in the pouring rain.

look for the girl with the broken smile,

ask her if she wants to stay awhile

as she will be loved by me.

it's not always rainbows and butterlies.

it's compromise that moves us along.

my heart is full and my door is always open,

she can come anytime she want.

8 letter siol!

2009-07-23T22:45:00.005+08:00

do i have a girlfriend?

technically no.

if you be my girlfriend

then i'll make it so.

you'll be my only true lover.

no competition

no other.

is just a thrill of the chase .

i got a feeling i'm winning this race.

i'm getting much closer,

i just need permission so,

but i have doubt about it.

you hope it was you?

yes,

it was you.

you don't mind right?

and you definiely not drifting/fading away?

you made me smile man.

and don't worry,

i forgive you

and thanks for being honest.

i really appreciate it.

WRITE MORE FOR ME OKAY?

THANKS MISSY!

it's no obsessed

2009-07-22T19:54:00.003+08:00

there's a thousand words that i could say,

to make you be with me.

oh,seem like you walked away slowly

left me alone.

i remember what you said to me,

you were acting so strange.

and maybe i was too blind to see

that you needed a change.

was it something i said

to make you turn away?

to make you walk out and leave cold.

if i could just find a way

to make it so that you were right here,right now.

i don't wanna make excuses,

won't change the fact that i feel you gonna go.

but if there's something that i could do

won't you please let me know?

the time is passing so slowly now,

guess that's my life without you

and maybe i could change my everyday

but i don't want to.

oh,what will i do

if i can't be with you?

tell me where will i turn to?

where will i be?

now that i feel that we are apart,

am i still in your mind/heart?

why don't you see?

that i need you here with me.

i've been sitting here,

can get you off my mind

i've tried my best to be a man and be strong.

i've drove myself insane

wishing i could touch your face

but the truth remains.

so i'll just hand around

and fine some things to do

to take my mind off missing you

and i know in my heart

you can't say that you don't love me too.

i don't care if she or people out there think

i'm shameless or crazy or self indulging.

i'm just stating the fact and what i felt.

thinking out loud.

2009-07-21T22:44:00.001+08:00

i think i saw tears roll down my face.
and it's true.
i guess i deserve it though.
enough said,
enough cried,
i'm done with it.

ok i think i'm too fast

2009-07-21T21:35:00.002+08:00

don't hang up.
can't we talk?
what went wrong?
what made you go?
why did we fall apart?
or did you lie from the start?
was it something that i said?
was it something that i did?
now,
i start to feel the distance between us.

stupid!

2009-07-20T20:53:00.001+08:00

fuck,
if you don't like me,
fucking tell me straight in the face.
don't have to give that face,
don't have to treat me like that.
i'm human for goodness sake.
i got feeling.
nbcb!

ok get out of my head

2009-07-19T16:12:00.002+08:00

everytime when i play the song,It always remind me of her. I dont know why,But it just happen. Nobody know how i feel,When she left me with no reason. And here i am now,Talking about her. come to think of it, it really pissed me off. But theres nothing i can do,can i? i must say,we have more fun moments than sad/angry moment and im glad to see that shes having a happy life without me. I hope she can make me smile like she did but i have doubt she will and maybe it wont happen at all.

ideapad

2009-07-18T22:50:00.002+08:00

how would you feel?
if the person you love,
give high hope and in the end,
turn you down.

i've been through that,
and i bloody sumpah!
that the feeling is totally,
extremely suck to the max.

oh yah,
the feeling of regret by leaving someone who you actually love,
is the worst thing that can ever happen to your life.

i don't know why i'm talking about love.
but it just came through my mind.

once i found the treasure,
i'll keep it in a safe.
and lock with different sizes of padlock.
and throw away the key.

today like fuck lah siol!

2009-07-16T15:39:00.004+08:00

i heard you lost,
do you know your way around?
if you got a problem,
i can hold you down.
i can be your navigator,
i can be your compass.

all day
staring at ceiling
making friends with shadows on my wall.
all night
hear your voice telling me
that i should get some sleep
because the next day there's something good might happen.

i know,
right now you can't tell
but stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
a different side of me.
i'm not crazy,
i'm not impaired,
i know right now you don't care
but soon enough you gonna think of me.

fuck lah shafiq

2009-07-15T20:49:00.002+08:00

on the corner of the main street,
just trying to keep it in line.
you say you wanna move on,
and i give you the time to move on.

and when the visions around you,
bring tears to your eyes
and all that surround you,
are secrets and lies
i'll be your strength,
i'll give you hope,
keeping your faith when it's gone
the one you should call,
was standing here all along.( who else would be standing if it's not me? ;) )

and I will take
you in my arms
and hold you right where you belong (under my armpit i suppose? =D )
till the day my life is through
this I what i promised you

i've fall for you when i first talk with you
in lifetimes before,
i promise you,
will you hurt anymore
i give you my word
i give you my heart
this is a battle i've been trying to win
and with this vow i have,
forever has now begun

this i promise you
and i'll proof to you that guys can be trusted.
including me.
i've made my stance
that i'll try to be there when you're in need.
i'll be your eyes,
i'll be your ears.

fine lor if i childish!
if i childish,
don't talk to me lah you!
i sulk uh!
you everytime cheat my feelings want.
walao!
:(

go fuck yourself

2009-07-12T21:46:00.002+08:00

you claim that he's your bf?
so what?
DO I LOOK LIKE I EVEN BOTHER TO YOU?
DO I?
just fuck off!
trying to make me jealous?
too bad too sad,
i don't.
not even a bit ok!
i know you read my blog every single day.
i know you talk about me when you with your close friends.
i know you cry about me last night.
don't tell me i'm making up stories.
i got reliable source.
so don't bother to correct me.
after what you have done to me,
you think i'm going to change my mind?
by doing that,
you think i'm going to change my mind?
no way.
no way.
i've found one,
and i hope she realise it.
and for you?
just shut the hell up,
and fuck yourself!

no second one ah

2009-07-11T22:15:00.002+08:00

dear shafiq,

i'm sure,
you don't want it to happen for the second time right?
so,
don't give yourself too much hope.
just be cool,
be calm,
be steady.
you've done this once,
an i'm sure you can do again for the second.
just brave yourself,
and swallow your saliva when you think it's hard to say it.

yours truly,
from yourself,
shafiq.

stand by me,can?

2009-07-11T21:09:00.004+08:00

i've been losing my mind,
i've been living a lie.
i've been running away so long.
i try to put on a face and cover my heart,
it seems i can't and i'm needing it now so bad.

i can't explain what's happened to me.
i feel like i'm right and wrong.
inside,
everything upside down,
everything spinning around
and it's freaking me out.

i've looked for love in all places,
but never found someone just like you.
someone whose smile makes me feel i'm holding back
and there's nothing i can't do.

whoa,
now look where we are?
you're in my heart
and i hope there's no escaping it for you.

i don't know how i feel,
maybe i'm mad?
maybe i'm proud?
can't find the truth,
can't speak my mind.
i don't know what i'll say.

9 sia!

2009-07-05T11:47:00.001+08:00

monday i'll be a living zombie.
that's that.

when the day turns green.

2009-07-03T01:25:00.003+08:00

do you know what's worth fighting for?
when it's not worth dying for?
does it takes your breath away and you feel yourself suffocating?
does the pain weigh out the pride?
and you look for a place to hide?

when your mind breaks the spirit of your soul,
your faith walks on broken glass and the hangover doesn't pass,
nothing's ever built to last,
you're in ruins.

when it's time to live and die
and you can't get another try,
something inside this heart has died.

HAHA -.-'

2009-07-02T19:25:00.001+08:00

do i have the permission to love you?

shafiq,you pathetic lah you!

2009-06-30T22:40:00.000+08:00

far away,
i feel your beating heart.
all alone,
beneath the crystal stars.
staring into space,
what a lonely face.
i'll try to find my place with you.
larger than the moon,
my love for you.
worlds collide as heaven pull us through.
the secret of my feeling for you written in the stars.
i'm carrying your heart in mine.

only if her feeling is the same as mine.
i'll smile till i cant smile anymore.
only if her feeling is the same as mine.
i'll be the happiest kid ever in this world.
only if her feeling is the same as mine.
i'll swear upon my mother's name that i will love her with the bottom of my heart.
only if her feeling is the same as mine.
i'll make sure i'll hold this love of hers no matter what it takes.

but only if her feeling is the same as mine.

oh shut up

2009-06-30T18:05:00.005+08:00

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"i'm just another soul for sale."
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

thanks.

2009-06-29T20:26:00.002+08:00

eh heartless migrated girl!
you're the best man!
you never fail to cheer me up with all your seductive word.
make me horny as ever.
haha.
thanks for the advice.
it's so mesmerizing lah.
keep in touch yeah?
hugs and kisses
from me to JT.
not you,
you dumbass!
oh yah,
please tell me you still miss me,
because i totally don't miss you at all!
and
"show me the meaning of being horny"
HAHAHAH!

i told you so.

2009-06-29T17:49:00.002+08:00

shafiq,
be cool.
be steady.
be relax.
be calm.
don't think too much.

this kind of people like nbcb sia

2009-06-29T11:36:00.003+08:00

oh great,
what is wrong with people man?
most of them told me i look like sex maniac.
come on man,
i don't do sex.
i ain't promiscuous for god sake.
i got pride man.
some things i don't use my brain to think.
but when it comes to losing pride and dignity,
i will think.
god dammit!
what's the problem with my looks?
fuck lah!
i should have killed myself in the first place.

mum,i love you.

2009-06-27T23:42:00.000+08:00

i'm sick.
thank you.

nbcb

2009-06-22T23:17:00.001+08:00

pcb
i really wat go butter fact for goodness sake!
but no friend
walao!
nbcb siol!
koa bei kao bu lah.

oh god dammit

2009-06-21T23:48:00.000+08:00

oh god.
i think i'm in deep deep trouble.

i talk as if i have one siol

2009-06-20T13:25:00.004+08:00

how does relationship break?

Both gf/bf will think the other is busy and will not contact each other
thinking they might be disturbing each other party.

As time passes,
both bf/gf will think,
"let he/she contact me first.."

After some time,
both will think,
"Why should i contact first when he/she didn't even contact me?"

From here onwards,
the relationship will be converted to hate.
Finally,
the feeling/love/care become weak due to the lack of contact.
Thus,
easy way out
break up
and forget each other.

That's why i don't want people out there to end up this way.
Which is why i'm writing this to say,
relationship are like gold.
without polishing,
it becomes dull.
Whereas if you take care of it,
it'll shine like the brightest star.

i feel like crying
and
i feel lonely.
=')

shortage lah fuck!

2009-06-18T15:49:00.002+08:00

i need shoe
i need shirt
i need pants
i need underwear
i need socks
i need watch
i need love

give me one of those,
i owe you one vanilla cone.
thank you.

somebody told me to be honest

2009-06-18T00:57:00.004+08:00

it doesn't mean people who went club are bad.
it doesn't mean people who smoke are bad.
it doesn't mean people who drink are bad.
it doesn't mean people who tattooed their body are bad.

but me,
yes,
myself,
i have this "side of me" saying i'm bad.
and i think so too.
am i?

one in a million

2009-06-18T00:47:00.002+08:00

isn't it good
if all girl says this,
"i'd rather have roses on my table than diamond on my neck."?

you should feel how i feel

2009-06-16T01:25:00.002+08:00

cuzzy,
thanks for the agnes b necklace.
i really in love with it man.
muccccchhhhhhh appreciated yo!
:)

whoa fuck,
last minute,
one by one say not going for butter's.
fuck!
i requested off for this,
and there they are,
saying they not going.
dammit!

it's freaking me out

2009-06-15T12:57:00.003+08:00

"the key to happiness is something you do with your love one."
am i right to say that?

she said,"public hair"

2009-06-15T01:13:00.002+08:00

on the way home from work,
at the station,
this couple,
was like kissing like no one's business.
what the fuck?!?!
but i have to salute that guy.
he's one lucky busted.
her gf,
is a superb kisser.
no doubt.
the way she lean on the guy's body,
the way she open her mouth,
was super woooo-woooo lah.
and she pierce-ed her tongue.
how superb can it be.

crazy

2009-06-14T11:22:00.001+08:00

am i a good listener?
am i a good secret keeper?
am i good in giving advices?
oh god.

copy and paste

2009-06-13T14:09:00.002+08:00

it takes a alot of thoughts to make a word.
it takes more than some words to make an action.
if mean it,
make sure mean it.
don't take words for granted.
as this little words which is nothing for you,
might be the key to hurt someone
and make a small matter be a big one..
i've learnt mine.
and i don't want to do it twice.
think before you say.
think before you do.
god give us brain to think,
not to follow others.
my dad's word,
"be smart but don't act smart"
i find it crap at first,
after my stupid act,
it's not that crap after all.

time will tell

2009-06-13T00:36:00.000+08:00

life's a climb but the view is great'

fall

2009-06-12T00:15:00.002+08:00

approached by two HSA guy.
wtf?

it's better to tell the truth
than to find out the truth.
it's not about knowing,
it's about feeling.
it's common sense,
when we're in relationship,
we are suppose to love our partner.
but when have feelings for other person,
and we don't have any feeling for our partner,
we must tell our partner the truth.
we cannot keep it,
and lie to our partner.
yes,
to the eyes of public,
it's heartless.
but to me,
i don't care.
i rather tell the truth,
than letting my partner to know the truth which will be hurtful.
and more hatred will be developed.
i think,
it's stupid to love our partner,
when we actually don't,
just because of sympathy.

=')

comparing lah siol!

2009-06-10T22:27:00.002+08:00

oh god.
i really hope,
tuesday i'm not working.
:(

after playing with rubik's cube,
it seems like we humans,
who's in boy-girl-relationship,
is just the rubik's cube.
we need the right formula to solve it.
and so do we.
we need to be there at the right time for our love ones
when he/she is in need.

i think so too

2009-06-09T19:49:00.002+08:00

i think you can do much better than me,
after all the lies that i made you believe.
guilt kicks in,
and i start to see it.
i told myself that i won't miss you.
but i remember,
what it feels like when i'm beside you.
this may sound sick,
but i really miss your hair in my face
and the way your innocence taste.
i think you should know that
you deserve much better than me.

party!

2009-06-07T12:26:00.001+08:00

the day i've been waiting for,
is finally here.
and i'm soooooo freaking happy lor!

whoa

2009-06-06T04:02:00.001+08:00

i'll be the happiest kid in this fucking world,
if you were by my fucking side.
shafiq,
fucking dream on.

the lamest one ever

2009-06-04T22:55:00.003+08:00

how creative can this artist be?

and i think,
i'm having bipolar disorder.
been saying to myself that i will do it,
but i didn't.
when will i get over her for goodness sake?!?!

the biggest FAT hope

2009-06-04T00:01:00.002+08:00

i'm trying to change myself,
but till now,
there's not slight improvement.
guess,
i am bad after all.
there's kindness in me.
but more to bad than good.
thus,
i don't people to be like what i am now.

"those who wishes to secure the good of others,
has already secured their's."