it's monday,FINALLY!

i'm looking forward for tmrw attachment.
but not the rest of attachment.
can we just come tmrw and not to come for the rest of the attachment?
asshole!

whatever it is,
tmrw i'm going to enjoy hell lot!
yes,
HELL LOT!
let's party like a rockstar!
she get it pop it,lock it,drop it,
that birthday cake,
got a candle need to blow that crazy flame away.
now take me red,black card and my jewelery
shawty is cool like the fire,cool like fire.

it's getting worse

can somebody tell me what it feels like to be happy?i think there's no such word as happy in my life anymore.all i think is the bad things that's going to happen to me and make my life feel so miserable.can i just take my mother's knife and stab right through my heart?i seriously cannot take it.

fcuk lah

I WILL GO CRAZY WHENEVER I THINK ABOUT IT.

i'm bored like fuck!

why does it feel like it's raining in my head?

all this while i've been thinking.am i born in this world to screw up things?am i born in this world to make things worse?i feel like i am.i'm like an obsatcle which block people's way from having a good life ahead them.i'm here to make love,friends,family with them but instead,hatred occurs.if so,i'm sorry and everybody do deserve a second chance.and one more thing,till when you gonna be in that dark hole?aren't you trying to escape from that dark hole?i know it's hard,but determination and chance is the key to success. lacking of mirth,provide me some?

is it a fact or fiction

i hate myself.

i think i'm here in this world,

is to screw things up and go without solving it.

i suck!

suck all the way to the deepest core.

sorry-ed pity-ed sad-ed

some fuckers think it fun to play with people's heart.

but have they ever think what it feels like to get cheated?

damn those fuckers who go around,

cheating people's heart.

these fuckers is soooo heartless that i think the name fuckers don't suits them.

their love one's have given their trust to them.

have given much of love to them.

but in then end,

they dumped them.

few COMMON reason(s),

i don't think we are meant for each other/

i'm busy.

yet,

they still use it.

how stupid!

if goverment wants to make new law like,

those who cheats their love one will be imprisoned,

i'll be the first one to agree with that.

and for those who get cheated by their worthless fuckers,

i'm really sorry,sad and pity for you.

it's 2.07am and i'm craving for laksa right na na na

buay tahan

oh god.

i had enough of suffering.

please show me the light and right path.

please.

you still remember my words siooool

love.

i'm sure you've heard these words before.

and i know it's hard for you to trust them once more.

you're afraid it all might end

and a broken heart is scared breaking again.

but you gotta believe me,

give me another chance.

i'll never leave you.

you'll never cry long as im there.

and i will always be there.

you will never be without love.

i promise.

as long as sunlight lights the sky,

light of love will be found in these eyes of mine.

and i will shine that light for you.

you're the only one,

i'll ever give this heart to (besides my family,duh~)

there's will be no time you won't find me there.

cause i will always be there.

you will always have all my love.

i promise.

if only i were given another chance.

but in this kind of situation,

i doubt it will happen.

hans said,

"shafiq,you obsessed sioooool!but dont worry,god will be there to help those who believe him and themselves.and you once told me,everybody will be given a second chance."

thanks hans.

i didnt expect that sentence was from me.

and i totally forget about it.

but you still remember.

once again,

thanks sucka! :)

i dont care if you/your friend hate detest mad angry irritated disgusted at me

have i told you that how good it feels to be me,

when i'm with you?

i can only stay clean when you are around.

don't let me fall.

if i close my eyes forever,

would it ease the pain?

could i breathe again?

i am wasted,

i made a million mistakes.

am i too late?

there is a storm in my head,

when you are not here.

i'm not afraid of dying,

but i'm of losing you.

maybe i'm addicted,

i'm out of control,

but you're the drug,

that keeps me from suffering.

maybe i'm a liar,

but all i know is you're the reason i'm trying.

maybe i'm obsessed,

but you're the one that i fall for.

i know you got the power

to make me weak inside,

and you did

and you leave me breathless.

i don't need another lifeline

because you can save me.

yes,

you may think i'm obsessed.

but i just want to let you know that,

i love you sincerely.

i don't expect anything much from you,

but just show me that you do apreciate it and accept it.

i know i'm rushing things,

but till when will it over?

why i write it here is because

it's too late for me to tell you,

because we no longer how we used to.

and i know,

it won't even move you heart a single inch.

i wish you the best,

and i hope any guy found your love,

knows how great you are.

and now,

i have to move like how i did in the previous one's.

and if i were given a second chance,

i'm sure i'll grab it.

but i doubt so.

just like father father

you know sometimes,

while we sitting down staring at blank space,

out of a sudden,

we think of our past.

it's lucky if we happen to think the good side.

it's unlucky if we happen to think the bad side.

but the thing is,

it's just a past.

there's nothing we can change about it.

we can't bring that past to the present,

especially the bad side,

adjust it and turn it to be a good one.

we can't.

it's all a matter of ourself,

whether we can take it or not.

if we happen to think the bad side,

we may get frustrated about it,

we may get irritated about it,

and even sometimes,

we may cry and think of killing ourself.

that's when,

we have to learn from that mistake of ours and try not to repeat it again.

if we happen to think the good side,

we may smile all a sudden,

we may laugh all a sudden,

like one retarded person,

and even sometimes,

we cried of happiness.

keep doing it in the present or maybe future,

and i'm sure it,

it will be way way beautiful than before.

one said,

"we don't remember days,we remember moments."

come on give me a break

fuck your brains you little dumbwitt shit head you such an ass dont you ever talk about her again because you nbcb you moronic asshole its my problem so dont try to give your shitty advice will you because you a girl who doesnt know how to appreciate kindness from me and doesnt believe any words that ive told you before he fucked you and now you asking for my help fuck off i got better things to do spent you time with that bf of yours because i DONT DESERVE TO BE IN YOUR FUCKING LIFE

you treat me nice i treat you even nicer you step my head i make sure i crush your head to bits

i hope its true

ok fine im the one whos being obsessed and its my fault though but is it wrong for me to assume everybody do assume so dont try to blame me if i assume i seriously have no fucking intention to put the blame on you but you were the one who assuming things that i blamed you i think its stupid if we hate each other just because of this because its just a misunderstanding between us or is it me and please you like discriminate me you know i know im assuming but your blogpost tells you made me write this fucking post and i did tell you that honesty is a good thing but try to balance it im not asking you to apply on me but apply to your own life have you ever wonder why some cirumstance in our life we have to lie to ourself and you know that if we tell honestly we would hurt that someone so im saying that to you because i do care about you and i dont want you to feel how i feel right now or maybe hurt someone else or maybe you have to go through what you been in right now again and again and again im not some holy shit head who thinks that im always right and try to act good and give good comments or whatever shit but think logically please and one more thing i have the guts i have the courage i have the balls to stand up and say sorry but what you do in return did you replied my msg no you didnt i assume by now you gonna hate me and dont give a flying fuck about it whatever it is im sorry

reckless abandon

if you want to hate me?

so be it.

practically it's my fault.

i'm sorry.

because everything comes with a reason.

dew.

it's important for those survivor who lost in the jungle/forest.

they depend on it(just like water)for survival besides food.

they have to collect before sun evaporate them.

and they have to conserve for the next 24 hours till they collect another round.

they have to drink bit by bit through out the day and make full use of it.

without it,they will die of dehydration.

but when rescue came for them,

they actually forget about the deeds and don't appreciate a single bit that the dew had done for them

the sun,is the enemy of the dew which evaporate them.

the dew,is the love ones for the survivor.

the survivor,is the one who don't appreciate it when rescue came.

i'm just like the dew.

when someone needs me,they find me.

and when another person come to their life,

they totally forget about me and lead a happy life.

they don't know how much effort i put on them

and none of my deeds they actually appreciate.

oh yeah,

i'm sure assuming things isn't wrong.

im sure expecting things isn't wrong either.

so don't blame me if i assume or expect things,

because it's normal for us,

human,

to expect and assume things.

make it the 4th

blog,

is the only place i can talk about love

and emotion.

-.-

where do love come from?

i've asked some,

and they answer heart,

but to me,

it's not the heart,

but the feeling.

the feeling that make us love

and

not to love.

and i think,

for loving someone,

is not about knowing,

but it's about feeling.

this feeling determine us

whether each individual do love each other or not.

if i pursue the facts,

connect the dots,

eventually i'll come to the truth.

paranoid sioooool

sometimes i wonder if i can just bring the time back and change everything that ive done wrong and lead a happy life but i just simply cant knn!but then what ive done that i have to go through this again for dont know how many times no words can tell how i feel right now its totally suck to the core manxxzx and i dont give a flying fuck if people say im too obsessed because the fact is that they dont know what ive been through all this while and there they are giving me comments about this knnbccb and finally i would like to say thanks for giving me this 'great' feeling ok i really appreciate it thanks ok bye

tissue.

it takes a alot of thoughts to make a word.

it takes more than some words to make an action.
just like action speaks louder than words.
if mean it,make sure mean it.
don't take words for granted as this little words which is nothing for you might be the key to hurt someone and make a small matter be a big matter.

thanks.

hardest part of walking away from you, is knowing that you will never run after me.

i love you with all my heart.

hah

now i do understand what love is.

i never regret to have someone like you in my life.

you are my love of my life.

you fill my life with love.

thank you.

you never fail to put a smile on my face when i'm down.

you never fail to love me when i need it the most.

i feel secured when you with me.

the love that you give me,

cannot be compared with anything else.

no money can buy our love.

no one can destroy our love.

thank you.

and one more thing,

i'm sorry if i'm mean to you all this while.

i will always go against every word that you say.

and when i go against it,

i know that you sad

but i just act as if nothing happen.

i'm sorry.

i know my brother gonna tell you about this.

i know my cousin gonna tell you about this.

i don't care.

it really shows that i really love you,

from the bottom of my heart.

i try not disappoint you,

i promise.

i know it's hard to hold promises,

but i do my very best.

last but not least,

i love you,

mum.

i'm done.

expecting...
expected.
it really do happen.
smile/laugh best cure?
i don't think so.

at times,stone-head can be good.
at times,it can be bad.
but have to say,
it's real good.

don't learn from our mistakes.
most say,"i won't repeat as i learn my mistakes."
bull shit.
told my self that i won't repeat the same mistakes.
but i did.
it's hard to hold words.
and to hold someone's word?
try practicing holding water first.

trust,
faith,
give and take,
that's what we need in life.

too much hope,hurt our very own heart.
too little hope,playing with people's heart.
think before we do something.

and here i am repeating the same mistakes.

i hope its true

i was told,
"when someone is in your heart, they're never truly gone. They can come back to you, even at unlikely times.".

no comma no fullstop no question mark no exclaimination mark

i think i just don't deserve love as i don't know what is the meaning of love anymore i feel like taking a knife and just stab myself on my head and die on the spot fuck me why most of my friends especially my secondary school friends in relationship but not me what they have but i dont do i look like a idiot who suck my own dick am i just being obsessed about it or is it the real fact that im facing now im paranoid about it seriously the more i wait the more i look like an idiot whos hoping to have snow in singapore dammit the more i tell myself that im going to forget that particular someone the more my feeling grew for her dammit i just dont know why this thing keep happening to me when my friend have problems in relationship they ask me what should they do and here i am give advices as if im in relationship but the reality is that i dont and i dont know why i can give those advices to them am i retarded am i cursed if not why can i give those kind of advices that really makes sense and its like the total side of me sometimes when i give those advices i feel weird of myself i seriously cannot take this anymore its a burden to me all this while god please show me the path that i always hoped and prayed for

i have to make up my mind,soon.

wait it out till light,

take a breathe,

say goodnight,

but don't ever go away.

wait around to find the time,

only she can take what's mine,

but don't ever go away.

a chance to change or stay the same,

one night without the blame,

that don't ever go away.

only she can make it right,

to walk away and have no fight,

but don't ever go away.

fade it out into the light,

all these time we never get it right,

no more reason to deny,

that i believed that she were mine,

i think i should let it go right now na na na na.

freaky yet true

i dont know why

but it seems i see myself together with a girl just now

going out together,enjoying each and every bit we spent together

holding each other's hand,swinging

disgracing ourself when we're outside

disgraced her by digging my nose inside train

cried on my shoulder after sharing her problems

wipe each other grubby mouth

feed each other then pull back as we trying to put the food in our mouth

get to know the total different side of us

hugged each other everytime we meet

kissed each other forehead/cheek everytime we meet

hear her nagging after i did something wrong

celebrating her birthday at kopitiam with her wtf face yet she loves it

celebrating my birthday at proper restaurant in return

saw her wearing necklace which i bought for her when we going out

solve problems in calm manner

taking pictures together with diffrent kind of crazy/loving pose and faces

sing her favourite song

have a surprise dinner on our annivesary

received each other text before we sleep saying,"lets hope for the best in our relationship tmrw.goodnight my love"

i doubt it'll happen now.

but sooner or later.

=')

if only she say she say she say she do

all of us are hypocrites at one point of our lives and i think i am right now na na na na